art therapy and more

Last night, I had to have some art therapy. You know the kind...when you sit down and all of the bad stuff just ooozes away? Plus, I made something for someone else and I always feel better when I do something for someone else and take my mind off of myself.

I didn't have a great day, yesterday. Most of my days are good. For the most part, my life is good. But yesterday, some yuckiness surfaced. It was dealt with and resolved, but painful. I always joke that my blog is "the life I wish I had." For the most part, I am realistic about my life- I just usually tend to leave the bad parts out. There are not a lot of bad parts in my life, but when life gets yucky, I tend to shut down. Maybe it is self-preservation- like a turtle pulling her head into her shell. I just tend to retreat and don't have a lot to say. If I am quiet, I usually don't feel well or something is wrong. My friend and colleague, Mary Jo, is moving to a different department at the university. I will miss her and made this for her going-away gift.

I made it last night and gave it to her, today. She likes birds.

I have been reading our book club selection, which was my choice, and I like the book a lot. It makes me think about a lot of different things. I am in the middle section where she is at the spiritual retreat place, (ashram) and the way she learns to seek God through prayer and meditation is interesting. I don't feel I've ever really meditated, although I have spent what I would consider a great time in prayer. Prayer isn't something I would want to lie about, but I believe I pray every day at some point or another during the day. If no other time, when I go to bed, before going to sleep. It helps me to relax. I've written about my faith in the past. I believe faith is a very personal part of my life. I don't like people to be in my face about things, or shove stuff down my throat. I know what I know. I don't really enjoy arguing politics or religion. And I don't like judgmental people who tell me I'm not this or that I'm that. There is only One who may judge me. Overall, at this point in my life, I feel as if I am fairly liberal, but I take comfort in my faith.

When I went to bed last night, I was still feeling sad and I cried as I prayed. I asked God to show his love to me and that I might feel his touch in a special way today.

When I first moved to Bloomington, I went to work at a law firm. I didn't really care for working at the law firm and was only there for three months before I got on at the university, but in that time, I made some good friendships. I call them "my law girls." They are both about the same age as my daughter. (Mid-late twenties.) We had not seen one another for while, so I emailed to see if they would like to go to lunch today and one of them said yes. I felt so much better after seeing her and talking with her. So, I felt as if my prayer had been answered.

Today was a good day. I was tired because I didn't sleep very well and didn't feel great, because my angst tends to affect me physiologically, too- but it was a good day. I will sleep better tonight.