Thursday, October 4, 2012

The power of words

Today at work I was emailing with a colleague from work.  I shared a disappointment I experienced today.  She wrote back "enjoy this beautiful evening."  I thought to myself
I should take my bike out on the trail- but I have too much to do at home.
I've been too busy as of late- involved in a lot of fun things- like a lot of volunteer work, but I've neglected my art, my house, my blog, myself.  After tonight, I am busy for the next three nights.  Fun stuff, yes, but I have plans. 
I got home and started to take Chelsea out for a walk and just happened to look down at my phone and saw I had just missed a call from my friend. I'm really bad about leaving my phone off after work and missing calls. 
The message was did I want to go out to the trail and walk with her?
Did I?
I have not walked the trail with anyone this summer.  The times I've been out on the trail this summer I've been on my shiny new bicycle. 
But a walk and talk with a gal friend?  Oh, my.  Yes!  My friend and I had lunch recently after falling out of touch with one another.  When I told Doug we had fallen out of touch he said he couldn't believe it.  I couldn't believe it, either.
So I called her back, finished walking Chelsea, threw on a pair of hiking shorts and my Paris pink tennis shoes and drove to meet her. 
This is the kind of friend that causes me to always feel better after a visit with her.  You have those kind of friend, don't you?  I hope so.
We had a lot of catching up to do. We both are Grandmas to our first grandchild.  We both have two children.  We both still have our parents.  We had to catch up on all of that.
Then we started talking about how sometimes (especially with those you love the most) words come out of your mouth that you wish you had never said.  She asked me if I had those moments with my children.  Oh, do I ever.  I said a lot of things when my children were growing up that I wish I had never said.  The worst thing I ever said was to my daughter.  The night she told me she was gay.  Well, that night she was trying to soften the blow and she told me she was bi.  I sat there shell shocked.  Speechless.  My daughter said "say something"
and I said "I think I'm going to throw up?"
My daughter told me she was gay and I told her I was going to throw up.
That in my mind, is the worst thing I've ever said to anyone.
So I drove home after our walk thinking about the power of words.
Someone crossed the line with me recently.  Perhaps in her mind she thought she was being helpful.  But she proceeded to give me some unsolicited advice that was just downright insulting and hurtful.  I'm not the sort of person that needs (or desires) that kind of "feedback." 
Our words are so very powerful.  How will you use your power- for good or evil?


Kris said...

First of all, hooray for the walk with a close gal pal! I have many close friends, and am so blessed to have them. So glad you got to go tonight! I am sorry you had a disappointment today, but hopefully, the day ended in a good way.
Your post is very thought provoking. We have all done this. We have all said things we wish we could take back. Words are so powerful, indeed!!!
Have a better day tomorrow my friend!
XO Kris

ain't for city gals said...

I for one am trying to watch my words...I just don't have to always tell people what I think...But I think (ha!) you were just being honest with your daughter...looking back on it I'm sure you would have a different answer but it took you by surprise and look how in love with your daughter, your daughter-in-law and the baby you are now...a journey that we have all learned something from.

Heidrun Khokhar, KleinsteMotte said...

So good to hear that you made it too the trail. I noticed on blogs that lots of people seem to be more busy and things are backing up . Odd how it happens to bunches of folks all at the same time or is it?

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