Thursday, October 28, 2010

On being haunted

I had a haunting dream last night. 
There are two who haunt me.
One is my Grandma.  She is the one I want to turn to when I'm troubled or stressed.
She passed away in December of '06.
Her phone number is still in my cell.  I cannot take it out.
I still cry for her sometimes.

The other who haunts me is a past love. 
An impossible relationship that ended without much closure.
I just moved on.

In my dream, I was at my Grandma's house.
Her house was a place of safety to me.  Other than being at her house, she wasn't in this dream.

He came to the door with a little girl in his arms, maybe between one and two years old. 
He simply said to me, "she needs to be changed." 
He had her clothing and toys in his car and I asked if she was his. 
He denied it.  I did not believe him.

We went to a place where people lived who had no where to go.  He helped them, worked with them at this house-type building.  It was a peaceful place.

Then for awhile, he was gone and in the dream, I wandered from room to room of the shelter looking for him.
I couldn't understand why he had come to me with this child.

I have been with Doug for several years, but this man continues to haunt me. 
No other person from my past has lingered like he has.

I remember the first time he came to me in a dream after I had started to be in a relationship with Doug. 
Doug and I were camping in Long's Peak campground, having a wonderful trip.
I woke and remembered the dream, laying in a tent, beside Doug and I felt so strange.

Sometimes, in dreams, the man has no role, no voice, no part. 
Yet he stands to the side and watches me.
I have no control over where my dreams go, when he comes to me, haunting my life to this day. 
I have heard that spirits of those gone on linger on earth when those who love them cannot let them go.
What about someone who is alive?
Someone who I walked away from yet he lingers on, haunting - for years?


^..^Corgidogmama said...

If ONLY we could control our brains while sleeping. Many would say there is indeed a message in dreams. It must mean something, don't you think? Very strange, how the strangest fiction ever sometimes crops up in dreams. Maybe this is what Stephen King does....dreams, then writes it all down and sells a million of 'em.
Is there any way a path could cross to see if the dream does mean something? I'm not saying open Pandora's box to the past...but, maybe there's a reason.
Our "little gray cells" are mighty peculiar~

Anonymous said...

Oh....I haven't had one of my haunting dreams for a long time. In some ways they are comforting because it might be the only chance you get to see this person.

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

That is so very interesting.

The one that was like that for me...that I could not and can never have....he is the one that designed my tat.

I knew you would understand that.

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