|Last night of this for a bit.|
It was casually mentioned to me recently. My gal friend and I had met for dinner before heading to a movie. She said "I'm thinking of giving up drinking for a month." I said "Ugh, I don't know that I want to." She replied "I know." And, that was that.
Then I started thinking. I have bounced the same four pounds back and forth all summer long, never getting below a certain set point. Often times I was guilty of drinking too much. My people have always had an affinity for the drink. My sister doesn't drink and interestingly enough, my mother, who may have consumed 4-5 drinks in her life, died of NASH. I'm often tired and suffer from brain fog. I wonder about the relationship between those factors and alcohol? Suffering since age ten from migraines, having even one drink will often lead to a horrible headache. Even if I only have one drink, I don't sleep as well as I do when I don't consume alcohol. Reading what I've written, I know there are those who would think well, why would you drink at all? Because it has always been so fun, you know?
When my daughter was young, we had a practice of "doing the day." This meant we would drive to Indianapolis for a day of shopping and lunch or dinner. My daughter must have been twelve or fourteen years old when she said to me "you know what I hate? That moment when you order a second drink." I didn't ask her why she hated it, but now I wonder if she just didn't want to sit there with her mom when she drank or if she didn't like how I acted after that second drink. (Or, both?) At any rate, not good. Not a good mom move. I made my children uncomfortable at times because of my drinking. Come to think of it, I'm certain I have made others uncomfortable because of my drinking.
I think it must go back to the practice of popping a champagne cork - of the celebratory act of drinking. It is so fun. And if it is *SO* fun, let's just have more fun. Ugh.
I am an all-out all or nothing gal. For me, for now, it is nothing. Good riddance.
I write for my own purpose, but I also write to help others. If you believe you may be like me, and drinking just a bit too much, perhaps you should consider taking a break. I've enlisted two friends to teetotal with me. A journey is always easier with friends along for the ride.
Thank you to those of you who have continued to write to me despite the fact that I haven't posted since January. Lots of love to you!