Two Pigtails

Little Bee

Two years ago my life became richer. A baby was born. My first grandchild. Two years have flown by. I look back at pictures from a year ago. She was just toddling around the furniture. Sitting up- still in that little lump of a baby.

Like my daughter- her Mama, she is a talker. She can say about anything she puts her mind to. She is like a little myna bird. We are at the point of being careful not to say certain words. My daughter, her mama, was sitting in her car seat behind me one day, around age two, when someone cut me off in traffic and I said a certain curse word. Instantly, I heard my daughter say the same word. At that very moment, I stopped swearing. I stopped swearing for several years. Once again, thanks to the Little Bee, when in her presence, Grandma doesn't swear. Last night, I stopped myself short when I started to say something about being fat. I don't want her to use that word when describing people, so I said something about being "too large." (This was when she wanted Grandma to wiggle through her little tunnel- after both Mama and Mommy had wiggled through.)(Both whom are very thin.)

My life is richer because of Little Bee and I'm a better person. I want to take care of myself and have a lot of years to enjoy with her. I want to be a good influence. It is easier to be a better grandparent than parent. With Little Bee, it is all happiness and love and fun and affection. When I was (single) parenting, I had financial stresses, and a lot on me. I made more than my share of mistakes when raising my daughter and son. I'm never one to wish I could go back in time, but I do wish I could have done it better. Fed them more healthful foods, given more of myself, shared art projects - be more fun. It was a tough time. Although I wish I could, I can't go back and fix it. I just hope they forgive me and love me who I am today, the new and improved Grandma version. I like to think I will live a long life. I had two Grandmas who lived to be 93 and they both lived on their own until the last year of their life. But we never know what tomorrow will bring. I am at the age to know that a doctor's visit could bring bad news, or a fall or broken bone could change a lot. Just tonight (and I think she was kidding a bit,) my daughter cautioned me- "be careful, we don't want any broken hips," as I ascended the stairs.

One of my friends observed, "you just seem happier since Little Bee was born." I am. And, why wouldn't I be?

My Little Bee is (objectively) intelligent. She has wonderful parents. My daughter and her wife. Both women are intelligent, together, successful. II am so very proud of both of them. Little Bee will also be intelligent, together and successful. I just know it.

It was so appropriate today, on her second birthday to have her hair in two pigtails. Two years old. Tomorrow we will celebrate with all of her "friends" from Sesame Street. (That is how Little Bee described it- "my friends.") The house will be full with friends and relatives, all celebrating these two quick years that have flown by.

Make a wish, Little Bee, or two. I'm sure they will come true.